Overcoming Traditions

by Stephanie Meraz

“As a female, my family has certain expectations over how I should behave, dress, and how I should have my hair. ”

Stephanie: We Mexicans have very strong beliefs that created traditions, cultures, and identities that were structured before we were even born. As a female, my family has certain expectations over how I should behave, dress, and how I should have my hair. I believe having a personal style should be a part of your growth, and for me, having long hair is not one of them. Because long hair was forced on me, I ended up hating my hair. I grew out of styles on behavior and dressing, because what was expected of me was so boring. I'm a mix of female-male behaviors, like doing my makeup and sitting in a way that isn't very ladylike. But my family beliefs go beyond things that are hair. Like how a girl should have medium to long hair to be beautiful for boys and such. Like my mom who actually cut her hair once, but regretted it right after.

Stephanie: Has grandma ever let you cut your hair before?

Mom: Yes, and I'll never do it again.

Stephanie: Why won't you ever cut your hair again?

Mom: Because it was not something… it didn't go with me. It… was not nice. People… my friends didn't like it. And honestly, I didn't like it.

Stephanie: Why did you cut it in the first place?

Mom: Because there was this movie that was out at the time, and the character had really, really short hair. And I thought it would look good on me, but it didn't. And, it was something I regretted, and I'll never do it again.

Stephanie: Is that why you won't let me cut my hair again?

Mom: You can cut it, just not that short.

Stephanie: My mom and my tia Yaya’s hair are very different, but both dye their hair and such. Yaya even had the nerve to call her hair natural too.

Stephanie: So, what do you like the most about your hair?

Mom: That it's natural. It's… not tangly, it's straight, but not fuzzy, um… but swervy? You could say. So it lets me style my hair up and make it look all nice, and style it down and perfectly fine. But because it's natural.

Stephanie: Since I've had long hair my whole seventeen years in life, I hated it. I just felt horrible with my long hair because it was so thick. I didn't want to deal with styling it every time, but at least Yaya was more optimistic about different hairstyles.

Stephanie: So, do you believe hair is important?

Mom: Yes, it is.

Stephanie: How come?

Mom: You style it the way you want to style it. You put it the way you want, and you color it the way you want. Now that they have all these new different type of techniques of coloring and… so you know, just depending on how nowadays, with teenagers and everything, want to express themselves. You can express yourself by hair coloring. You can express yourself by ear piercing. Like… let's just for saying Sylvia's favorite color is purple. She's like, "I want purple hair." Like, "Oh, you could color it purple." You know, you, what's your color?

Stephanie: I like blue a lot.

Mom: Okay, you see? And they're like… they have blue.

Stephanie: As time goes on, things are changing. I want to be who I am, and I believe my mom is slowly beginning to understand that not everything about me is up to her, her beliefs, or her traditions. I will continue to change, and she'll have to realize that it will be up to me and what I hold.

Mom: And yeah, I was upset because you didn't even ask for permission. I told you I was going to take you to get it cut, [Stephanie laughs] and you decided to do it yourself.

Stephanie: And if I were to cut it again?

Mom: No, you're not going to cut it again.

Stephanie: Yeah, okay. And we're done.