回憶過去 Huíyì guòqù (Recall the Past)

By Olive

"To ease the tension you speak of love for your family, and I finally understand. "

You recall stories of you marching to school day and night
Mud capped the tips of your sandals as you dragged yourself back and forth from school to home.
For seven days a week,
The sun beat down your back
And the snow froze your fingers.
You return home and the light won’t turn on again, and it twitches above your head
Like the way your leg does when you think about your childhood, and the way your father used to kick you.
“Study after school every day. Review and preview your school work. Study more,”
You tell me after I finish recording you.
And I sit in front of you.
Behind me, my big bed is covered in ridiculous crap your money paid for.
Ribbons and twirls and fancy golden lights glowing behind my head.
You notice it too and you can’t help but avoid my guilt-ridden gaze.
But to ease the tension you speak of love for your family,
and I finally understand.
My father and I hug under the golden lights.

Dad: Middle part of China near Yellow River, a very small town. Seven people were living in, basically like a… big studio, almost. [laughter] A big studio, but with some separation.

All the kids went to the same school. We have early morning class, from six to seven. Sometimes I have some friends who can give me a ride on bicycle. I sit in the back of a bicycle. If I walk it will usually take like a twenty minutes.

So, at seven, we walk to home and have breakfast and then come back to school at nine am. After dinner, we had to go back. We walk all the way down the street, with the street lights.

In the winter, of course, sometimes once or twice, a few times, snow. And we still have to walk.

The electricity always, kind of, is out sometimes. It's out a lot—very often. At night we are studying. Suddenly, electricity is out. So we had to use candle and study using the candle.

No hot water. We have to always boil the cold water into hot water, put in the some kind of container to keep the water warm.

The oven used coal, burn coals. Every winter we’d be careful, do not get poisoned by the carbon oxide.

In the winter, it's so cold. We don't have good warm shoes. It's so cold, you wear those very thin shoes. So I remember that part—I kind of always hated winter. When in the classroom, we hit the, hit the ground with our feet to keep the feet warm. It's hard every day, oh, the cold come through. Itchy. And then you see the blood with the top of the tissue. The skin, the skin comes off. You feel almost tissue, meat, muscle.

The father had dominant the power, my father will get mad. Sometimes, he will kick us. He will kick us.

And in winter, there's not a lot of foods, vegetables. Only two kinds of vegetables. Only two kinds of vegetables almost everyday. Which means cabbage and carrots, like every day.

In summer it's so hot. The ground is become soft. The road, because the sun is so hot, the road becomes soft. So we sweat a lot. It's so thirsty. We find some place sell water, buy cold water. It's really warm, over 100 degree. It's summer of course, it's very hot. We sleep on the special bamboo sheets.

You asked me, what's kind of exciting thing. First I thought, oh maybe, because I rather still busy working every day, so I get overwhelmed with work. Of course, the most exciting thing I say of course have three kids. Three kids really good.

I'm so happy with them, with all of you guys. Yeah, so happy. When I just see you walk downstairs, Emerson in his room, Julia her room, I get kind of a peace of mind. Good. Yeah. Three kids.