Being Independent in a Big City

by Emilio Gonzalez

“For my dad, being independent means to be a responsible, caring, and hard-working person that strives for a better future.”

Emilio: "We are born alone and die alone. The loneliness is definitely a part of the journey of life"—Jenova Chen.

This is probably one of my favorite quotes, because this shows how deep reality can be. My personal experiences have led me to this point of view.

My name is Emilio Gonzalez. I was born in Mexico, Monterrey, Nuevo León, but I was raised in San Luis Potosí. My parents are Carlos Gonzales and Alejandra Miranda, also born in San Luis Potosí. The relationship between my mom and my dad was never stable. My dad moved to the United States when I was only a few months old. Therefore, I was raised in a house full of women.

My household consisted of my mom, my grandmother, and my aunt. My mom worked hard to provide me with necessities I needed. In results, I did not get to spend much time with her. I was mostly raised by my grandmother and my aunt. Growing up for me was a challenge, because I grew up basically without parents. It was tough. When making decisions, when I didn't have anyone to count on. My dad:

Dad: Ah mi nombre, hola, es Carlos González, tengo 39 años, yo crecí en México en el Estado de San Luis, Potosí, en la ciudad de San Luis Potosí, pues fue una vida divertida fácil, entre la escuela y el mercado con mis papas y con mi abuela.

Emilio: Coming to America was a whole different challenge. I arrived to Chicago when I was fourteen years old, as a teenager to meet my dad. When I first met my dad, I was shocked, since I was meeting a person who I never met before. It was the first time we talked in person. I remember one of our first talks, was about the comparison between the streets of Chicago and Mexico. He then explained me how to commute in the city. My dad had a good relationship with his dad, my grandfather. They would visit the villages around San Luis together, play soccer, and at one point, my grandfather built a bike for him.

Aside from learning about the city of Chicago, I had to adapt to a new school system, and learn a new language. With the help of teachers, friends, and family members, I was able to learn English in four months. To this day, I remember the words that my teacher shared with me. She told me to forget everything about Spanish, and try to learn a new language.

Chicago helped me to become more fluent in conversations, and, how to be myself. My father migrated to United States for a better life. When I moved here with him, there were times when I wouldn't see my dad, as he would often work late and overtime hours.

Dad: Yo vine a los Estados Unidos en el 2001 o el2002, no me acuerdo muy bien. Pues, vine porque me invitaron unos primos que viven aquí en Chicago y yo estaba en una etapa en México donde no me iba tan bien económicamente. Y pues me invitaron a trabajar acá y por eso es que vine a los Estados Unidos, a trabajar.

Emilio: Aside from working, one of my responsibilities like homework and chores, I decided to fill in my free time by attending classes at Yollocalli in Little Village. In the summertime, I would stay at my uncle's, as he lives near Yollocalli. For my dad, being independent means to be a responsible, caring, and hard-working person that strives for a better future. He has worked to give my siblings and I an exciting and enjoyable life.

Dad: Pues para mi ser independiente significa ser una persona responsable, una persona pues que se preocupa por salir adelante y la verdad es que, yo desde pequeño, desde la edad de los 14 años empecé a ser independiente empecé a trabajar, como dije antes yo me crie también con mi abuela en el mercado, entonces, desde muy chico yo empecé a trabajar a ganar dinero. Quizás debí haber seguido la escuela, pero pues no, no pude, no, no fue algo en lo que me concentré suficiente y pues, pues, seguí trabajando. La verdad yo creo que ser independiente desde joven me ha ayudado a ser un poco más responsable y a ser un poco más, pues más con mis hijos, más, esforzarme más para que ellos sean independientes también.

Emilio: I'm now nineteen, considered a young adult. My current challenge is to work and provide for myself. I don't talk with my parents as much now. I've noticed changes, and realized that I have to work for my own income, figure out my college journey, and a choice of career. Sometimes, when I feel a bit nostalgic for my past times, I think about how I only truly have myself to depend on.

In my head, I always feel alone, but there's another part of me that thinks otherwise. I think about all the people that know me and care about me, even though they might not show it or make it known. In my father's words, he told me being independent, it's okay. It's a personal satisfaction, as it is based on your own goals. Everything that you accomplish is not easy, as you need to learn from life experiences. Being independent is working your own way through obstacles alone, while maintaining focus on what you are capable of doing.

Now that I'm becoming an adult, I have to remember that being independent is important, because whatever I decided to pursue as a goal, or what I want to achieve in life, will ultimately be up to me. As I am nineteen years old, I have to be responsible for my actions and be aware of my decisions. It's going to be a long journey to learn from my mistakes, and balance my highs and lows, but it's definitely a part of the journey of life.

Dad: Lo que yo le puedo decir a Emilio, que ser independiente da una satisfacción personal porque es algo que cualquier cosa que logres, cualquier logro que tengas va a ser porque tú te esforzaste suficiente para lograrlo y pues no es fácil ser independiente, se necesitan muchas cosas, saber muchas cosas,estar concentrado en todo, en la escuela, en, en tu casa, en, pues en el futuro y en tus estudios. No sé, no es fácil ser independiente, pero es necesario, creo yo y yo como papá de Emilio lo digo, pues frecuentemente en cosas básicas, como ser responsable con su escuela, ese tipo de cosas que en el futuro ser independiente, muchas veces significa salir adelante solo. Y por eso para mí es importante que Emilio sepa que, ser independiente es algo que, es necesario para él.